CHINBEARD BOOKS

Read and Grow

ANNOUNCEMENTS...

THE GOODIES - POST HASTE... (11th April 2022)

We're halfway through posting out the new Goodies novella. Thank you for your patience.

We've now enlisted the Super Chaps Three on their trandem, and they're patiently waiting/getting bored with waiting (delete where applicable), for the next batch of parcels to take to the Post Office.

In the meantime, why not do, do, do the Funky Gibbon to pass the time.

THE GOODIES - AVENGERS DISSEMBLE... (1st April 2022)


Due to circumstances beyond our control, the novellas will now be posted in the week starting Monday 4th April. 


Huge apologies for the delay. 


We probably shouldn't have used a giant Dougal dog to get them to the Post Office.

ROBIN OF SHERWOOD ANNUAL 1987... (18th March 2022)


We are delighted to say that the vast majority of the international postage was completed this afternoon. We only have 10 parcels left to post, and hope to do that tomorrow morning.


It's been a long slog and we appreciate your patience. Thank you. 


We have been getting some very humbling feedback and, on social media, we have asked if people want to be put on a waiting list for the remaining stock (which is kept back to use as spares, for any damaged/lost items in the post). Please visit our Facebook page to be added, or contact us through this website.


HERE'S THE GOODIES!


They've arrived at Chinbeard Books HQ. Hurrah! They may have been delivered on a trandem, actually.


Thanks to everyone who pre-ordered. The publication date was the 1st of March, so apologies that the physical copies were a little late in getting to us.


We have a backlog of books to pack (see previous posts) because of a nasty bout of Covid which laid us all lower than Boris Johnson's morals (yes, that low!).


Sorry for the inevitable delay in packaging and posting these, because of that.


We'll get to them as soon as we can.


Meanwhile, as it's World Book Day when we're posting this, why not tell your friends about this brand-new adventure for The Goodies; approved and contributed to by Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie, and the late Tim Brooke-Taylor.


You can order a copy by clicking HERE.

POST HASTE...

It's been a long process, posting the Robin of Sherwood Annuals. Apologies for those who are still waiting.


The Covid crisis that hit Chinbeard HQ took a while to abate but at least three-quarters of the orders are now in the postal system. Unfortunately, it's only the UK ones. This isn't us playing favourites, we hasten to add. We were doing postage in order of who pre-ordered first to who pre-ordered last. But, the online portal we're using makes the overseas labeling a little more complicated.


Plus, anyone who has bought one overseas will be getting an email soon about a potential upgrade to postage, if they want it. 

SHERWOOD SORTING...

We've had the delivery of Robin of Sherwood 1987 Annuals for a a fair few days now, but they arrived at the same point as everyone in Chinbeard Books HQ did a tiered contraction of Covid.

The HQ has been a grotty Covid place - with limp and listless beards draped all over the furniture - but we managed to slowly package the entire contingent. 

This afternoon, we've finally embarked on the mammoth task of addressing over 400 Robin of Sherwood 1987 Annuals for delivery.

Sorry it's taken a while.

Hopefully, the first lot will go out tomorrow.

Please be patient, as we can only deliver them to the Post Office in small batches.

THE GOODIES...

Take a little good advice, pre-ording this book would be nice!


In 2019, The Goodies reunited to record a brand-new adventure for Audible, under the guidance of producer Barnaby Eaton-Jones – who gently persuaded them to get back on their trandem bicycle. This was called The Big Ben Theory, and was written by Gareth Gwynn and John-Luke Roberts, from a story by Barnaby Eaton-Jones, and directed by Dirk Maggs. It is still available online HERE.

In the cast were Dame Joanna Lumley, Jon Culshaw, Kate Harbour, Philip Pope, and Barnaby Eaton-Jones – alongside The Goodies themselves; Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie, and Tim Brooke-Taylor. There was even a live band and studio audience.


This audio production was so well-received and successful that a series was commissioned, with the same team behind it and retaining the same company of actors as well. Unfortunately, due to the sad passing of Tim Brooke-Taylor in 2020, from Covid, the audio series had to be cancelled. At that stage, material had been written and The Goodies had chosen the first six (of the twelve mooted) for the debut series on audio.


Fast forward to 2022, and the first of those stories has been turned into novella called
Avengers Dissemble, which is a semi-sequel to the audio production (though you don’t have to have listened to the audio to understand it), as it features Dame Joanna Lumley – who has also written a beautiful and funny foreword for this book. 


PRE-ORDER HERE!


This novella has been specifically produced by Chinbeard Books as a tribute to Tim Brooke-Taylor and 25% of the royalties will be going to the charity he was President of for over 25 years – Thames Valley Adventure Playground (who celebrate their 40th anniversary in 2022). You can read all about what they do here: https://www.tvap.co.uk/


If fans and the public get behind this first novella, then the rest of the series will also be written, and there could potentially be 12 ‘new episodes’ of The Goodies, that had comedic input from all three of the Super Chaps Three.


SMASHING PROOFS...

There's been a slight delay with the Robin of Sherwood Annual 1987 because we decided to order a physical proof after viewing the digital soft proof. We were worried about relying just on a digital copy, as we want this Annual to be printed exactly as we've produced it for publication. Unfortunately, printed proofs take a little longer to generate and reach both the editor and the graphic designer. We apologise for the wait, but we hope you understand why we've done this. We will keep you updated of the progress, as ever, as soon as we've cleared the proof for publication. We also expect you feel like smashing a jug of drink over our heads at the announcement of another delay, as Will Scarlet did to Robin in the accompanying image! Don't worry, we've smashed one over our own heads. We're honestly equally as eager to get this Annual out to you as you are to receive it.

PRINT RUN...


Putting the Robin of Sherwood Annual 1987 together, in a ridiculously tight window of creativity, has often had its editor/creator - Barnaby Eaton-Jones - pulling a face not unlike the Sheriff's below whenever he opens the book!
However, due to the unfortunate delays, he has spent time adding brand-new content so everyone who's ordered will get more pages than the initial manuscript was going to be. Hurrah!

Our final pass on the print-ready version will happen on 17th/18th January for delivery to the printers on the 19th of January. From there, we'll keep you regularly updated on when it's ready and then when the packing and postage is being done.

Never fear, not long to go now. Sorry for the extra wait, but we've not been idle during it!

THE POWERS OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS...


In yet another about turn, we've popped the Robin of Sherwood Annual 1987 back on sale (for pre-orders) until January 3rd. You can grab a copy by clicking HERE.


This isn't because we're contrary buggers, we hasten to add. We believed it would be finished and printed before Christmas. Due to unforeseen circumstances, that hasn't been the case. The reason we needed to close pre-orders was to source quotes from printers for 'x' amount of the Annuals. We shall now get them to revise the fixed quote for us when they open again in January.4th.

SLIGHT DELAY...


It's our very sad duty to announce that there has been a slight delay in production of the ROBIN OF SHERWOOD ANNUAL 1987. We're very sorry.


As has been said before, our pre-order budget had to be met before we could commission contributors, etc. This didn't happen until August. We're asking busy people to squeeze their creative process into our very tight deadline of the end of November and sometimes that's just not possible.


We had someone over deadline who had to be replaced, which knocked on into a busy timeline of a collaborator, and then we get news that the consequences of Brexit are messing with the supply chain of paper stock for printing, etc. These are all just excuses and, although valid, don't take away from the fact that we know you'll be VERY disappointed as you were quite rightly expecting your copy (or copies) for Christmas - and that's what we had set out to do. 


The likelihood is that these will arrive in mid- January now but we are working stupidly hard to keep a glimmer of hope alive for December mailing. We thank you for your patience and for your initial pre-order. These things can happen and it's massively frustrating but we're trying to deliver you the best Annual possible under a ridiculous time-frame and pressure, so we ask you to please respect that as we have had some rather upsetting messages come through lately. 

Thank you.


ROBIN OF SHERWOOD ANNUAL - SOLD OUT...

The time for pre-ordering has now passed.

Our limited run of the 1987 Annual (brand-new and officially licensed) will be printed according to how many people pre-ordered. Thank you for your support. 

As we didn't hit the initial target until August, nobody could be commissioned until then. This means we're a little behind schedule (as we wanted you to receive it before Christmas). 


We hope to have them available for sending out in late November but, as ever, this will only achieved if everything is finished and there are no hiccups at the printers - for whatever reason!


Fingers crossed. 


(Accompanying illustration by Andrew-Mark Thompson, on of our contributors to the Annual, who used this test piece as a warm-up for his other pieces in the book. We rather love it, and how he's aped the original Errol Flynn Robin Hood film poster)

BLESSED BE...

Brian Blessed turned 85 today (we dare you to try and give him 'the bumps' - he's 85 but still as strong as an ox). Here he is, as Long John Silver, with Christopher Guard as Jim Hawkins, in the 10-part Disney/HTV production of Return To Treasure Island.

We mention this because we can exclusively announce he's provided the most fabulous foreword to Christopher Guard's upcoming memor - And Then It Was Now - which we're publishing very soon!

Keep an eye on our social media channels (Facebook and Twitter), or here, for more news!


ANNUAL FUNDED...

We're delighted to say that the pre-ordering has covered the production costs of producing the Robin of Sherwood Annual 1987.

Thank you ALL very much.

The pre-order link is still open, for you to buy the album. But, it will be closed on the 31st of October and you will no longer be able to purchase the Annual.

This is a strictly limited, one-off edition. 


If all goes well, it should be dispatched in late November. 


For those of you who haven't pre-ordered, please click on this LINK


We thank you for your generosity and support, as we couldn't have made this without the number of pre-orders we gained. It is hugely appreciated.

ROBIN OF SHERWOOD ANNUAL 1987


The popular television series 'Robin of Sherwood' only spawned one TV tie-in Annual (and dated 1986, the year that Jason Connery took over from Michael Praed - though there is only Michael's Robin featured in the official annual of that year. See accompanying picture for the cover).


To address this, as we are humbled to hold the literary licence for the show, it's always been our intention to do a companion Annual for 1987 that featured *both* Robin Hoods. 


It's with great delight, we can finally announce this. 


Featuring new stories, a comic strip, quizzes, trivia, artwork, behind the scenes photos, interviews, and even more, this Annual will be as if it has hopped off the shelves in 1987.


Due to the large volume of paid contributors that it takes to pull this Annual together (graphic designers, writers, artists, etc), we have to hit 'x' amount of pre-orders in the first 4 weeks for this to go into production. Our intention is to print and publish in November, for everyone to have it as a Christmas present to themselves (or others). After all, Christmas isn't complete without an Annual from your favourite television show, is it?

Pre-order it HERE, so we can fund this amazing book.





SHE'S PERFECT...


Six years ago, our head honcho - Barnaby Eaton-Jones - had an idea for a Perfect character to lead a graphic novel of her own.

In a nutshell, a Swinging Sixties super-spy, with the appeal of Mrs Peel but the clueless nature of Inspector Clouseau. She'd be called Perfect. Because she wasn't.

It never got past his story treatments and some preliminary sketches by Robin Grenville-Evans (who has returned to illustrate one of the four stories in this). In came the groovy moves of AUK Publishing, who liked the idea and partnered with Chinbeard Books to make it happen.

And it's happening. It's oh-so-happening, man!

In a few months time, you'll be able to read - in glorious technicolour - four original tales of Perfect adventures in a 60-page graphic novel that inhabits the limbo-like world of The Avengers and The Man From UNCLE; though it's a darn sight sillier.

Here's Perfect herself, rendered in fab gear by one of our artists (and writers) Gary Andrews. We're delighted to have Gary on board as a writer *and* illustrator of his tale.

The line-up, from stories by Barnaby
Eaton-Jones, are...

PERFECT LAP - Writer: Lee Rawlings / Artist: Luke Lilly
PERFECT STYLE - Writer: Kenton Hall / Artist: Simon A Brett
PERFECT PITCH - Writer: Gary Andrews / Artist: Gary Andrews
PERFECT PAIR - Writer: Barnaby Eaton-Jones / Artist: Robin Grenville-Evans


LOOK-IN MAGAZINE...

We are genuinely over the moon to be partnering with Rebellion Publishing, in order that we can publish the entire run of the Robin of Sherwood comic strips from Look-In magazine.

Look-in was a children's magazine centred on ITV's television programmes in the United Kingdom, and subtitled "The Junior TV Times". It ran weekly from 9 January 1971 to 12 March 1994.

It had televison listings for the week, interviews, crosswords and competitions, and it had pictures and pin-ups of television, sports and music stars of the time. Its main feature however was the many comic strips of the favourite children's television programmes, all of which were being shown on the ITV network at the time.


Robin of Sherwood featured heavily during the brief time it was transmitted, from 1984 to 1986; with both Michael Praed's Robin and Jason Connery's Robin getting strips of their own. The majority were drawn by renowned artist Mike Noble (who was well-known for previous illustrative work on Captain Scarlet and Star Trek, among other notable works).

We are currently collating and restoring strips, via graphic designer Robert Hammond, and we have an exclusive foreword and a specially commissioned introductory illustration from Lee Sullivan (comic strips for Doctor Who and Rivers of London) - who worked with Mike Noble and saw him as a mentor.


The complete collection will be out later this year.

 

A GUARDED MOMENT...

It is with great delight that we can announce the upcoming autobiography of actor and musician, Christopher Guard.


When we read his sample chapter, it just seemed so unique and so different to a 'normal' biographical story, that we felt instantly drawn to it and wanted to enter into his dream-like and unique world.

Christopher has worked on some amazing productions throughout his career, and with amazing creative people surrounding him. He's a many of many talents and we know that being a writer will be mastered just as successfully and individually as the rest of those talents. 

'EYE AM: A Dream of a Memoir' will be published in Autumn 2021.

DISTRIBUTION DEAL...

We are delighted to announce that, along with Spiteful Puppet, we'll be distributing our books (and eBooks) via ANDREWS UK.


It now means you should see our product in a lot more places and make it a lot easier for you to grab a copy of something you wish to buy.


We're looking forward to announcing a couple of new books as well, which we've been diligently working on. One is a reprint of an absolute classic that we can't believe hasn't been put back out on the market, and the other is a unique take on a well-loved and long-running cartoon for children.


More news on those as and when!


For Robin of Sherwood fans, our Series 4 Collection will also be out next week for delivery too.

FRIDAY 16th OCTOBER...

A new unofficial guidebook by Oliver Crocker, that will take fans behind the scenes of the first three series of the long-running police procedural series The Bill; including the pilot episode ‘Woodentop’.

Over 40 cast and crew have shared their memories of working on all 35 of the original hour-long episodes, detailing how this groundbreaking series was created. These in-depth interviews also reveal how these innovative creatives, many being interviewed for the very first time, began their careers in television production.

The first book to be published about The Bill in over a decade!


Witness Statements also features eighteen rare and previously unreleased behind the scenes photographs, plus viewing figures for selected episodes published for the first time!

You can buy it by clicking HERE.

WITNESS STATEMENTS 

(Making The Bill, Series 1-3)

A new unofficial guidebook by Oliver Crocker (All Memories Great and Small, The Bill Podcast), that will take fans behind the scenes of the first three series of the long-running police procedural series The Bill, including the Storyboard pilot. Over 40 cast and crew have shared their memories of working on all 35 of the original hour-long episodes, detailing how this groundbreaking series was created. These in-depth interviews also reveal how these innovative creatives, many being interviewed for the very first time, began their careers in television production.


A full list of contributors for this book, the first to be published about The Bill in a decade, will be announced soon.

Witness Statements also features twenty rare and previously unreleased behind the scenes photographs, plus viewing figures for selected episodes published for the first time!

You can pre-order Witness Statements, which will be released later this year in partnership with Spiteful Puppet, right now by clicking HERE (for the special price of £9.99, below the RRP of £12.99).


REGENERATIONS - UPDATE...


We're really sorry for the delay in getting the book out to you.


Originally, the scheduled date was the 3rd of August, which then got moved to the 11th - due to the scheduling conflicts brought up because of the terrible times we're all living through.


We're pleased to say the first batch of books arrived at Chinbeard HQ late on Friday afternoon (14th August), which have now been packaged and addressed.


The second batch should arrive on Tuesday 18th August, which will then be packaged and addressed too.


We feel safe to say that, if you're in the UK, you should receive your book in the coming week. If you're overseas, postal times will vary. 


You can still buy the eBook version of this charity anthology about the War Doctor during the Time War, which has had some amazing reviews, in the 'Buy Book' section of our website - for £6.99.

This book is unofficial and in aid of the charity Invest In ME.

EBOOK AVAILABLE!

We may have sold out of the limited print run of Regenerations, our charity Doctor Who anthology, but you can get an eBook version instead.

Head on over to the Buy Beard page and it's a mere £6.99 to purchase. 

There have been some amazing reviews already for this collection of tales. Feel read to read the reviews by hitting the links below...

GOODREAD REVIEWS / SET THE TAPE / INDIE MAC USER / WARPED FACTOR

REGENERATING YOUR ORDERS...

Finally, you can pre-order our charity anthology Regenerations, which tells twisted versions of classic tales. 


Featuring Doctors One to War, this epic tome tells what happens when the Time War seeps into other Doctors lives and starts altering the history of our favourite Time Lord. 


In one day, pre-orders hit their expected target, thank you. It will be published on Friday 7th August (it was originally supposed to be Monday 3rd August but the pandemic has altered the printing schedule)

 


You can pre-order your copy now...
CLICK HERE


ROBIN OF SHERWOOD
THE SERIES 4 COLLECTION

We are delighted to announce an omnibus editions of previous novels for our proposed Series 4 stories (all brand-new) for Robin of Sherwood.

Contained within are three NEW exclusive stories - two new adventures and one new adaptation.

The writers include Jennifer Ash, Elliot Thorpe, and Barnaby Eaton-Jones 
(with story contributions from Iain Meadows and Barnaby Eaton-Jones)

We've managed to hit the pre-order target within a day, so we're also delighted to say that Hooded Man Events will be launching this on October 10th with an online party with some special guests and surprises.

If you want to pre-order the omnibus, you can go HERE and click on the link.

The price for this paperback omnibus is £16.99

GET RICH QUICK...

Rich Davenport is a comedy poet, stand-up comedian and musician from exotic Bolton, in the UK. Inspired by Spike Milligan, Billy BennettJohn Cooper-Clarke and by his friend and fellow Boltonian, the late Hovis Presley, Rich has gigged all over the UK, spreading mirth and making loud noises. He was first encouraged to compile a book of his poems of extreme gormlessness by Hovis Presley in 2003. After accidentally winning a couple of poetry slams, other encouraging individuals said the same thing. And now, finally, here it is, with fabulous illustrations from the marvellous Minty B.


Funny.” - Hovis Presley, describing Rich’s comedy to Badly Drawn Boy’s sister (long story).

Rich Davenport is a brilliant comedian. Genuinely bringing something different to the table and is always a big hit with audiences.” - Lee Martin, Director, Gag Reflex Comedy Agency

Rich Davenport is a terrific performer whose enthusiasm and innate likability shine through. He also has a pleasingly madcap eye on the world.” - Toby Hadoke, Comedian, host with the most at XS Malarkey, Manchester


A Blue Gnu Scribblings Production, in association with Chinbeard Books..


 Price: £4.99. Order by clicking HERE:


NEW SHERWOOD STORIES...


We're delighted to announce that The Power of Three will be sent out this week to all those that pre-ordered. See Spiteful Beard for the link to grab it - there's very few copies left. We're also delighted to announce that we've commissioned three more Robin of Sherwood novels, the first of which is To Have and To Hold and that will be available to pre-order on Friday 29th May 2020. Thanks, as ever, to Anthony Lamb for the covers and to Jennifer Ash and Elliot Gould for these stories.

WHO'S PLAYING WHO?

A no holds barred diary of a decade of writing and performing original travelling comedy shows about Doctor Who , by The OFFSTAGE Theatre Group . It features photos, script extracts, unused ideas and sketches, and an exclusive comic strip from Doctor Who Magazine's Dicky Howett & Tim Quinn; with a foreword by COLIN BAKER (The Sixth Doctor) and an afterword by TOBY HADOKE (' Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf' , etc).

The ups, the downs, the laughter, the tears, the fights, the arguments, the loves, the petrol consumption and the drunken revels - from the UK to the USA and back again.


The book will go up for pre-order on January 9th 2020 and will be published later in the year. Pre-orders will decide whether a print run is viable. If not, you will be refunded in full. 


Featuring quotes from famous Doctor Who alumni who appeared in some of the shows or watched them, as well as exclusive, never-before-seen script extracts. The book will also detail the two shows that nearly came to be but were ultimately scrapped due to forces beyond OFFSTAGE's control.


Doctor Who (c) BBC, and respective parties. No infringement of copyright intended. 


HALO TO A NEW BOOK...

This is the story of an author who created a legend, whose stories have sold in excess of forty million books around the world and been translated into over thirty languages. An author who created a hero before his twenty‐first birthday and spent the rest of his long life writing about him. Whose life closely mirrored that of his fictional creation and whose books were a product of his life as much as his life was a product of his books. Who exploited his creation to the maximum effect while maintaining strict controls over how his character was interpreted. Who had circumnavigated the globe three times before the age of twelve, and travelled the world extensively, but would never in his life set foot in a communist country, even when there were generous royalty cheques awaiting him there.


This is the story of Leslie Charteris ‐‐ creator of The Saint. An authorised biography by Ian Dickerson.


Using exclusive interviews with his family and friends, and with unlimited access to the Charteris Collection at Boston University, A Saint I Ain’t tells the story of Leslie Charteris from his early years as a struggling writer in 1920's London, through the years spent living and working in the Golden Age of Hollywood, to the years spent, in his own words, "as a high class bum" traveling around the world. Pre-order by clicking HERE:


SALUTING THE CAPTAIN...


In the aftermath of Thunderbirds, the twilight years of Supermarionation would commence with a disturbed, ruthless take on children’s science fiction entertainment – Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons.


Pop culture writer Fred McNamara captures over 50 years of Captain Scarlet history in Spectrum is Indestructible, a comprehensive and passionate celebration of the series. Featuring extensive reviews of all 32 episodes, in-depth retrospectives of the series’ spin-off media, interviews with people who worked on the series and more, this is the book no Spectrum Agent or Angel should be without.


Spectrum Is Indestructible is a special edition paperback, with a strictly limited print run.


If you’d like a copy of what Jamie Anderson (son of Gerry Anderson) says is “…an exhaustive examination of the series in a way that few would dare to tackle”, then please pre-order. Unfortunately, as this is an expensive book to produce, we won’t be able to complete the print run unless a certain number of books are pre-ordered. If this doesn’t happen, you will receive a full refund. Head to our Buy Other Beard section to grab a copy.


ME AND THE STARMAN...

We vowed we wouldn't do any more charity anthologies after Whoblique Strategies but, in some ways, this is a bit of a companion piece. Whereas the previous book took an idea by David Bowie and Brian Eno and translated it into many Doctor Who pieces of exactly 200 words long, Me and the Starman is a collection of love letters to David Bowie himself.


Three years in the making, and released on the same day as Space Oddity (50 years ago), this epic tome features a foreword from the author of The Complete David Bowie, Nicholas Pegg, and an afterword from MainMan president Tony Zanetta, as well as many. many contributions from friends and fans.

Curated by Jon Arnold and James Gent, it's a deeply intimate and very personal tribute to how the man who fell to Earth grounded us all, and helped the weirdest among us feel a little less alone. 


All profits from this book go toward supporting the work of Cancer Research UK. Head to our Charity Beard section to buy it.

ROBIN OF SHERWOOD...


We are genuinely over the moon (or into the forest) to announce that we have the exclusive licence to publish books based on the classic television series Robin of Sherwood.


To begin with, we'll be focusing on novelising some of Spiteful Puppet's audios, in the same style as Richard Carpenter (and other writers) adapted his television scripts in book form. These will be expanded editions, with extra material not included in the audio, and will all be limited editions. Once they are sold out, they are sold out.


We will also be publishing our own new adventures too, which will adhere to the continuity of the series (and audios). Our first publication is up for pre-order. It's The Meeting Place by Jennifer Ash. Click HERE to view and pre-order.

"HEATHCLIFF! IT'S SHE, OH OGILVY, I'VE COME HOME NOW..."


The Saintly Ian Ogilvy is a man of wit, charm and waspish put-downs. All of which he brings with him when viewing the latest (or oldest) celluloid disasterpiece in his own inimitable style. He's more arch than the Arc De Triomphe, takes more liberties than the Statue of Liberty, and finds more holes in movie plots than you can find on a golf course with a lot of holes in it. He's mostly accompanied by SHE (his long-suffering but quite intimidating wife), who steals all his punctuation and hides it in a carton of popcorn. 


If you've seen Mr. Ogilvy on Facebook, you’ll be aware of his big following. Well, perhaps not big, but certainly devoted. Well, perhaps not devoted. Mildly interested would be more accurate. Yes. Anyway, in this book he's collated the best of his reviews for some of the films he's seen, reserving his comments for those movies that do something interesting to his funny bone. This is an extended edition (a director's cut, if you will), with additional unseen content, that will make you re-evaluate your viewing choices and chortle at his freeflowing honesty. 


Mr. Ogilvy himself says: 'I was quite happy updating my status on my own (which can make you go blind, I believe) until I was offered a book deal to gather all my musings into one handy-to-throw object. It can be used in that manner to show your disgust/delight with the state of modern cinema. If people would employ me as the next Marvel superhero, I'd stop writing these reviews. But, until that happens, I'm going to have my bit of fun with any film I'm not in. And rightly so.' 

Ladies and gentlemen, Chinbeard Books are proud to present IAN OGILVY'S WITHERING SLIGHTS


Available soon.


Illustration by Charles Waple (Scribes Like Us

THE BRITISH ARE COMING!


We, at Chinbeard Books, are HUGELY delighted that Derek and Dave Philpott have chosen us for their last important tome of comedy goodness, which - for good measure - benefits a highly deserving cause. Here's their Press Release below...


"You may be aware of our books of deliberately deranged letters to iconic 60s-90s pop and rock stars with genuine in-on-joke replies. The second, 'Dear Mr Pop Star' has just 'dropped', as is the parlance of the young, to worldwide acclaim, and the first 'Dear Mr. Kershaw' was released to similar plaudits in 2015.


We are, however, retiring, and Volume 3, our last, is going to be focused on British alternative and 'indie' artists only. In order to ''put something back'' - not that we've taken much out - we are going to be donating a significant percentage of every book sale to a very worthy project called MUSICIANS AGAINST HOMELESSNESS (who support the national charity, Crisis). It's a wonderful fit, especially given that so many of the artists already on board are affiliated with this deserving and highly respected organisation, and it is - we feel - a lovely way to bow out.

We are publishing with Chinbeard Books, a wonderful publishing house run by our friend Barnaby Eaton-Jones, who has been a champion of our work for years. We see this as a natural progression for this bonkers idea that grew from nothing a decade ago to where we are now.

Artists already aboard for what is already shaping up to be our best book include Embrace, Shed Seven, EMF, Jesus Jones, The Mock Turtles, Flowered Up, Republica, Gene, Menswear, The Supernaturals, Inspiral Carpets, Kula Shaker, David Devant & His Spirit Wife, Dubstar, Pele, Northside, My Life Story, New Fast Automatic Daffodils, Cud, Pop Will Eat Itself, Cornershop, and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin; with more artists generously jumping on almost daily."

                  You can follow the Philpotts on Twitter here: @DerekPhilpott.


THE RETURN OF THE KING...


In late 2018, we'll be publishing a book to honour the late, great Peter Wyngarde, and also to raise money for a theatrical charity. 


You can read all about this long lost novel from celebrated author Jason King (via Editor Johnny Mains), in more detail here:


THIN STRAND OF HAIR press release


We are delighted to be able to assist in the publication of this novel and we hope it will be a great addition to Jason King's treasure chest of Mark Caine adventures.

The King reclaims his crown.

Coming in 2018...


REGENERATIONS


The Time War is affecting The War Doctor's past. 


Regenerations features Doctors 1 to 8, each appearing in what should be a celebrated and classic tale from their television tenure. But, with each story, there is something wrong. The events within have been immeasurably altered, changed, and perverted by the raging Time War and nothing is as it once was and nothing is as it was once remembered.


From an initial idea by Seasons of War Editor and Writer, Declan May.



Written by Sami Kelsh, Dan Barrett, Warren Frey, Alan Ronald, Simon A. Brett & Lee Rawlings, Christine Grit, Nick Mellish and Barnaby Eaton-Jones


Cover illustration by Steve Horry 

(with additional colouring by Chiara Bonacini)


This book is wholly written for charity, with nobody receiving a fee and with Chinbeard Books not taking any cost (aside from postage and packaging). Any and all original copyright is used without the owner's permission but without any profit being made.


SINGLE WHITE WHO FAN - The Life & Times of Jackie Jenkins...


It's 2018 and Jackie Jenkins has returned!


This collection of her collected columns from Doctor Who Magazine, features exclusive new material that takes her story up to the 50th Anniversary.


If you loved Bridget Jones's Diary, you'll love Jackie Jenkins. But, if you're a Doctor Who fan, you'll recognise yourself in her and her band of fan chums immediately.


This is a rather heart-warming and often laugh out loud funny tale of a female fan, struggling with her desire for the Doctor and her desire to lead a normal romantic life.


You can buy this new edition now, from CHINBEARD BOOKS.


Head on over to the Buy Beard section of the website and use the links provided.

SINGLE WHITE WHO FAN: The Life and Times of Jackie Jenkins - ON AUDIO...


Doctor Who Magazine's flirty female diarist is back! And it’s about time. 


To tie-in with our upcoming re-publication of 'Single White Who Fan' by Jackie Jenkins, Spiteful Puppet have released their full-cast audio version of the novel. It is available now, on digital download. Here's what they have to say about it...

Single White Who Fan: The Life and Times of Jackie Jenkins is a full-cast audio adaptation of the columns featured in DWM (1997 - 2000, plus exclusive new material that takes her story to the 50th anniversary in 2013), featuring Joy-Amy Wigman as the voice of Jackie - a girl who views the world through TARDIS-shaped windows.

From pub nights out to TV nights in, incompetent friends to entangled relationships, follow Jackie and her friends as they ponder life, love and the Doctor.


With cameo appearances from Doctor Who alumni, this full-cast audio production is a feature-length listen to what would happen if Bridget Jones was a life-long Doctor Who fan. Click HERE to order.


PRINT RUNS...


Unfortunately, we have come to the decision that Chinbeard Books won't be able to provide print runs on books for the foreseeable future. We don't have the time or the resources (or, indeed, the money) to invest in stock - which would be our preferred method. However, this doesn't mean we can't continue to keep publishing, it just means that each book will be created individually and all that means is less profit for us. We're okay with that as we've only ever been in this to see books published. We can assure you there won't be any drop in quality. If the situation changes, we'll be sure to let you know. But, for now, it's business as usual.



'JUST DINO' UPDATE


We sold out of our first print run of this personal biography of the legendary entertainer, written by the President of the UK Dean Martin Association (and who was instrumental in a lot of his UK record releases).


Since then, we've had a fair few messages asking when it will be back in stock.


We are delighted to announce that, as of now, you'll be able to buy this book once again.


Head on over to the Buy Beard section of the website.


Thanks for your interest and the feedback that buyers have given us about this wonderfully warm memoir.


WHOBLIQUE STRATEGIES


With over 275 stories penned by 70 authors, we are delighted to announce that this passion project from Elton Townend Jones will be on sale soon.


The publication date is WEDNESDAY 6th DECEMBER.


You will be able to buy it from a link popped up in our Charity Beard section.


The price will be £10.99 and, from that, £3.00 will go to the Children In Need charity. 


Chinbeard Books will receive no money from this book as it, like our other charity books, employs a 'Print On Demand' third party - so that no money is lost and 100% goes to the charity the book supports.

THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS...


Spectrum Is Indestructible: The Unofficial 50th Anniversary Celebration of Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons is up for pre-order


Here's the blurb, for those of you interested...


"Celebrating 50 years since the finger was on the trigger, Spectrum is Indestructible is the ultimate critical guide to Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons.


All thirty-two episodes of the classic TV series receive in-depth reviews, along with fresh analysis of Captain Scarlet’s extended universe found in comics, novels, audio dramas and other essays examining further aspects of the series; with infographics, photos and more.


A heartfelt critique of a classic sci-fi action/adventure television drama, Spectrum is Indestructible is the book no Spectrum Agent or Angel should be without."


Written by FRED MCNAMARA
Design and Infographics by ROBERT HAMMOND
Cover Art and Page Image by DARYL JOYCE

THIS IS A PRE-ORDER TO GUARANTEE A COPY.
Published in February 2018.


Re:JOYCE!


We are delighted to announce that artist DARYL JOYCE has been commissioned to provide the front cover of  SPECTRUM IS INDESTRUCTIBLE THE UNOFFICIAL 50TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION OF CAPTAIN SCARLET AND THE MYSTERONS by Fred McNamara.


Daryl cites classic series title artist Ron Embleton as an influence but has a unique style all of his own, which is cinematic and eye-catching. His painting used here is of Cloudbase, the aircraft carrier headquarters of Spectrum from the original series, as depicted by Daryl in a stunningly beautiful way. 


The book will be up for pre-order this weekend too.

CROONING...


It's a delight to be able to announce that we have opened pre-orders for JUST DINO in the centenary year of Dean Martin. You can grab a copy from our Buy Beard section. You can also watch a specially-shot trailer too by clicking here.


This is an intimate biography penned by a friend of over thirty years, who was also responsible for getting Dean Martin's music released in the UK. Bernard H Thorpe, sadly, passed away before his manuscript found a home but, fortunately for us, his son - Elliot - polished the manuscript for his late father and brought it shining to us. 

The book will be released on August 1st but, as of now, you can make sure you don't miss out on a first edition by pre-ordering early.

TIMEY-WIMEY STUFF...


Our schedules are moving backwards and forwards in time, much like the universe's favourite Time Lord. What once we had planned is still going ahead, but with revised releases in different months. So, a little earlier than expected, we have a book with a Doctor Who connection and one which - we hope - will appeal to any of you who've been involved in small community or professional theatre companies. Way back, when the 40th anniversary of the show was looming, The OFFSTAGE Theatre Group were commissioned to write a couple of live shows that would entertain the fans at UK conventions. This ballooned into something special and they found themselves travelling the length and breadth of the country, at many conventions, providing original live action nonsense on stage - doing their best not to repeat themselves. A decade of trials and tantrums, with a lot of laughs along the way, this is the story that leads up to (and includes) an invitation to fly across the pond and provide the evening entertainment for the biggest and the best USA convention, Gallifrey One (this was billed as their final outing, as it was a very hard show to top), and their brief re-emergence at the 50th anniversary celebrations performing hours before the worldwide cinematic broadcast of the special by the BBC (second-guessing what would be included and getting it surprisingly right!). It features a plethora of photos, unused ideas and sketches, script extracts, personal recollections from the cast and a few famous Doctor Who luminaries, a foreword by COLIN BAKER (the Sixth Doctor), an afterword by TOBY HADOKE ('Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf', etc), and a new comic strip, commissioned exclusively for this book, from the acclaimed team of DICKY HOWETT & TIM QUINN ('Doctor Who Magazine', etc). Available to pre-order from this 'Buy Beard' link. This will be a strictly limited print run of only 100 books.


SPECIAL 'WORLD BOOK DAY' BARGAIN...


Founder of Chinbeard Books, Mr Barnaby Eaton-Jones, once had a comedic novel published by a now-defunct publishing house. In its third print run, the publisher expired and we have acquired the remaining copies to sell through Chinbeard Books. Well, we sort of had to or our founder would have thrown a hissy fit and tugged on his beard until it came off.


If you like your humour on the Douglas Adams side, then this book may well be for you. We're offering it at a reduced price of £4.99 and you can grab it from the shop.


Here's a quote from a recent review:  "... imagine the Pelican Brief, written by Douglas Adams and starring a 1990’s Hugh Grant at his bumbling best. But with robots. And a cat called Eric." (Susan Omand, Dreamcage Media)


Our beloved and bearded founder has threatened a sequel for many years. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to be getting anywhere near finishing it.


SEASONS OF WAR - FINAL EDITION...


For your information, the books have now been printed and are currently being packaged and addressed.


International orders will be sent out on Friday 3rd March.


Domestic orders will be sent out on Saturday 4th March.


Thank you for your patience. We hope you'll enjoy this new edition, especially as we've been able to include a little tribute to the late Sir John Hurt.


And there's even a short foreword by STEVEN MOFFAT!





SIR JOHN HURT (1940 - 2017)


Seasons of War (FINAL EDITION) has been delayed due to the unexpected and very sad news that the legendary actor who brought the War Doctor character to life, which our anthology is based around, has passed away.


We are including a tribute to him within the book and this means we'll update you when the book has gone to print. In the meantime, we thank you for your patience.


He was, uniquely, a man seemingly without ego and yet blessed with true talent. Travel well, Doctor.


FORTHCOMING PUBLICATIONS FOR 2017...


Gullible's Travels - the autobiography of BAFTA award-winning actor/director Jason Connery.

The Life & Times Of Jackie Jenkins - a collection of columns from Doctor Who Magazine.

Single White Who Fan - a full-cast audio play adaptation of The Life & Times Of Jackie Jenkins.

Spectrum Is Indestructible - an unofficial 50th anniversary tribute to Captain Scarlet, written by Fred McNamara.

Dean Martin - A Personal Biography - written by his friend and UK Fan Club leader Bernard H. Thorpe.

The Irregulars - a fast-paced, gritty spy novel, written by newcomer Will Nixon.

Feel - a charity pictorial anthology for breast cancer charities, with a strong, powerful theme of femininity.

Sherwood Is Small - children's stories of Robin Hood, by Amanda Miller and Chris Mockridge.

Lifting The Vale - a pictorial celebration of the work of photographer Ceri Vale.

Who's Playing Who? - the diary of a decade of tantrums and triumphs in a TARDIS; by Barnaby Eaton-Jones.

NOTHING IS FORGOTTEN...


England during the reign of King John and a dark force is intent on conquest. Only the Hooded Man can stand against it.

The church lies impotent at the mercy of the Pope and the interdict against King John. With the people living in fear and a series of strange disappearances that threaten the very fabric of Noble society, Robin ‘i’ the Hood and his band of outlaws must race to rescue the past so that the future may be protected. A journey to Huntingdon and beyond Sherwood will see them battle their most dangerous enemy yet as Herne's son faces The Knights of the Apocalypse...


This is strictly limited edition of a novelisation of the original version of the script written by Richard 'Kip' Carpenter, that was adapted for the recent audio production by Barnaby Eaton-Jones and Spiteful Puppet Entertainment Ltd.


It will be produced in the same Puffin style as the original TV series novelisations from the 1980s.


This is 100% charitable. All proceeds will go to The Sherwood Forest Trust and The British Red Cross.




THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS...


A full schedule of next year's releases is coming soon, we promise, but our chinbeards couldn't wait to announce this...


'Spectrum Is Indestructible' - a 50th anniversary tribute in celebration of Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons.


It will be written by Fred McNamara, with a cover illustration by Adrian Salmon.


Available in late 2017.

Our next book will be released on the 23rd of November, which is - not entirely coincidentally - also 53 years to the day since Doctor Who first aired. 


A Time Lord for Change is a brand-new charity anthology that takes every single television Doctor Who story from 1963-2015 (from ‘An Unearthly Child’ to ‘The Husbands of River Song’) – covering all the Doctors, companions, adventures, and enemies – and responds to them re-imagines and re-interprets them as drabbles: stories, poems, letters, songs, vignettes and memoirs of exactly 100 words in length, no more, no less. And this book contains over 270 of them!


Chinbeard Books – donating to mental health charity MIND –  offers every fan of TV’s Time Lord a new opportunity to take the Doctor’s hand and step aboard the TARDIS to discover a whole new world of Doctor Who previously unseen, a world that’s sometimes frightening, sometimes silly, sometimes irreverent and sometimes deliciously analytical; a world which features:


The Twelfth Doctor choosing weapons and revealing more empathy cards; River Song telling us why she loves each Doctor; a trip behind the scenes with the Curator; the musings of a cat that likes kidney; the thoughts of a horse called Susan; Dalek/human parallels; another death for Rory; Monty Python’s ‘The Rings of Akhaten’; a 10-year-old re-watching a Christmas special; John Lumic stealing his big idea; what we might have had if we didn’t have ‘Blink’; the truth about that thing on Midnight; Donna’s school report; what else got loose from Van Statten’s collection; Adam’s clever solution; the death-birth of Good Wolf; the War Doctor’s many names; the Eighth Doctor’s visit to HG Wells; a chance to save someone for old times’ sake; Andrew Cartmel’s Season 27; Kroagnon’s other faux pas; the Master at the shops; the Sixth Doctor’s final moments; the mind of a multi-coloured coat; what Chessene did next; Sil’s involvement in Tranquil Repose; how the Earth’s new name was chosen; Ibbotson on Facebook; the inter-galactic shipping forecast; the truth about Morgus; Sarah’s kleptomania; Jano and the Sevateem; the famous Giant Prawn; the lie they told Adric; the Tenth Doctor at the Gateway; how the Daleks saved a child from depression; life on Dust or death on Earth for the Third Doctor; Zaroff’s fishy secret; Ian Hendry as the leader of the Dominators; the creation of the Karkus; the Second Doctor’s golden birth; the secret struggle of Sensorite women; how the Time War started; and the First Doctor’s death amongst the Aztecs. All of that - and a lot more besides…


A Time Lord for Change features a host of authors (a vortex of Wholigans, in fact) - over 100 professional and amateur contributors, including prominent names from Doctor Who itself: Colin Baker, Katy Manning, Andrew Cartmel, Robert Shearman, Jane Sherwin, and Terry Molloy. Other prominent contributors include: Joanne Harris, Paul Magrs, John Dorney, Neil Perryman, David J Howe, Simon Bucher-Jones, Paul Ebbs, Simon A Forward, Ian Potter, John Davies, James Gent, JR Southall, Alan Stevens, Fiona Moore, Steve Horry, Declan May, and Rebecca Vaughan; plus Cliff Chapman who conceived and commissioned the project, project publisher/producer Barnaby Eaton-Jones (Robin of Sherwood: The Knights of the Apocalypse) and critically acclaimed playwright and theatre producer Elton Townend Jones (The Unremarkable Death of Marilyn Monroe), who edits the collection.


TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE...

A schedule of forthcoming releases will be announced soon and our beards are bristling with delight at the books to be published in the near future. But, we've also got a VERY limited number of 'Seasons Of War' books yet in our store. Head on over and grab a copy before they dematerialise forever.

Our next publication is another charity anthology with Doctor Who as its central premise. This one is called 'A Time Lord For Change'; covering every story broadcast, and more, these 100-word drabbles are the most amazing form of literary expression and we've got very famous writers and very famous fan writers to contribute.

THE WAR IS OVER...

Every copy of SEASONS OF WAR, the limited edition, amazing anthology edited by Declan May (in support of the Cauldwell Children's charity), has been sent out. All UK and International Orders are within the postal system. Most of the domestic copies should have found their way to their destinations by now.

The response to this book has been phenomenal and we'd like to thank each and every person who bought a copy (or copies) and supported the charity in doing so.
After many moons of waiting, it is with some relief and with great excitement that we can announce that SEASONS OF WAR will be available to pre-order on FRIDAY 1st JULY 2016, at midday 12:00 NOON (GMT).

This is the unoffical charity anthology, featuring John Hurt's War Doctor from the BBC's Doctor Who.

Editor, Declan May - Screenwriter, Scriptwriter, Author - has done the most astonishing job of gathering the finest writers to contribute a story. Plus, John Hurt's War Doctor has a chinbeard in his last outing. So, it's fate. Ahem.

Writers include big names like GEORGE MANN, GARY RUSSELL, JENNY COLGAN, KATE ORMAN, MATTHEW SWEET, PAUL MAGRS, MATT FITTON, LANCE PARKIN, ANDREW SMITH, JOHN PEEL and JIM MORTIMORE. And they aren't just 'big' because we've written them in capitals.

A strictly limited edition, we expect it to sell out very quickly. So, once the pre-ordering goes live, do steer your TARDIS in the direction of the Chinbeard Shop at speed.




It is with great delight that our furry little chinbeards can croon this announcement together! In 2017 (yes, we're scheduling that far in advance), we'll be publishing - in the centenary of his birth - a very personal biography of the iconic all-round entertainer, Dean Martin. Here's a little explanation from the author's son, Elliot Thorpe...


"...I am very very pleased to announce for 2017 from Chinbeard Books: DEAN MARTIN - A PERSONAL BIOGRAPHY by Bernard H Thorpe. As some of you know, my dad had tirelessly and proudly promoted Dino and his career since 1960, in the process gaining the privilege to call Dino a friend. Dino would have been 100 years old in 2017 and so this biography is in celebration of that and of the hard work my dad did for him for over 50 years. Sadly my dad died earlier this year so I hope I can do it justice by finishing what he started..."


We are very humbled, here at Chinbeard Books, that we can publish and promote this very personal tome.



There's a whole new section of the website!  To coincide with ME Awareness Day on 12th May 2015, we are releasing Tales of the Female Perspective, which will be raising money for Invest in ME - a charity that aims to help people with this terrible illness.

Some of our Chinbeard Books will be offered via the P.O.D. (Print on Demand) company Lulu. These will be mainly charity books. P.O.D. enables us to keep the cost down (as we don't have to hold stock) and the money donated with each purchase can go directly to the charity.

Visit our new P.O.D BEARD page by clicking here, or using the navigation bar above...



Whilst we prepare the first few books for pre-ordering, we are just so incredibly excited and ludicrously humbled to reveal that Chinbeard Books Ltd will be releasing Gullible's Travels by Jason Connery in late 2016.


This book is a collection of memories from his weird and wonderful life and, having read an extract, it is incredibly witty. Mr Connery's writing voice just oozes warmth and charm and sly humour.


The front cover that you see to your left is not the finished version but it's a mighty fine mock-up by the rather wonderful Robert Hammond.


To learn more about Jason, please visit his website: www.jasonconnery.net


It is with HUGE excitement (and more than a little stroking of our chinbeards) that we're able to officially follow-up Seasons Of War - Unofficial Doctor Who Charity Anthology's announcement and say, yes, we are the publisher for this amazing anthology that is raising money for charity.

The ebook raised an amazing £8,000 for Cauldwell Children's charity.



A Time Lord For Change is an ambitious project to produce drabbles (short stories in exactly 100 words) for every single Doctor Who story - and some other bits and pieces too. Barely a couple of weeks from inception, some of fandom's finest writers, BBC and Virgin books authors, and the odd celebrity contributor too, have been drabbling for Change.

The charity in question is A Time To Change (www.time-to-change.org.uk) and it will be produced with profits going entirely to them.

Cliff Chapman, the creator of A Time Lord For Change, said: "We're delighted to have the support and enthusiasm of Chinbeard Books, who have taken us on to make a quality and affordable physical reality quicker, and frankly, easier, than I ever imagined."

Barnaby Eaton-Jones, owner of Chinbeard Books, said: "It's a real honour that we have been allowed to publish this book, not only because it features so many fantastic writers scribbling away in a very difficult structure, but also because we hope it will raise a significant sum of money for A Time To Change. We're currently petitioning Steven Moffatt to change the name of the programme to Drabble Who instead and do the rest of the episodes in just 100 words; in order that they never say they've got too low a budget again!"

More news on how you can pre-order A Time Lord For Change very soon.



At Chinbeard Books Ltd, we wish to ensure the highest quality printing for our books; which means no less than a minimum 100-book print run from a professional printers with the possibility of losing a hefty amount of money if the book doesn't sell. But, as we're only a small publisher and producing a high quantity of charity anthologies from the outset, we will also be using a Print-On-Demand service as well (in order for the charity to receive money direct, for one thing).


When a book is up for pre-order, we will tell you whether it is part of a print run or if it is Print-On-Demand; as we know some customers will often prefer one to the other. Hopefully, once the business grows, all of our books will be exclusively created in print runs from a professional printing firm but we hope you'll forgive us this half and half approach for our start-up.


We like to be open and honest about these things!